Where have I been?

It's been a while since my fingers danced over this keyboard. I miss it. I have been so busy since Operation Pat that blogging became a luxury I could not afford.

I've been on a roller coaster ride this last month - too many ups downs twists and turns to tell all. Let's just say that I hit a stumbling block, fell over, licked my wounds and am on my way up again.

This journey has revealed so much. I'm not just talking about the emotional and mental journey - I was expecting that - it's been the physiological revelations that have been surprising, interesting and challenging.

Oh blow it, I will tell... maybe not all, just a snippet or three (dinner can wait).

Weeks 7 - 9 of my training marked my peak. I felt great. I had progressed from a shuffle to a run. I felt that I could go on for miles and miles, hours and hours. I was unstoppable. My MAF (Measure of Aerobic Fitness) test at the end of week 9 was my best ever - smashing my previous time by 7 and a half minutes. I felt like a super heroine that wore stars on her bra (or was it her undies?).

Then week 10, things turned around.

My long sessions had gone from spending 20 minutes in my AHRZ (Aerobic Heart Rate Zone) twice a week to 30 minutes four times a week. Previously my post-MAF test program adjustments had only ever seen 5-minute increases, and my 'long sessions' remained at two per week - that meant that with each program alteration, I had plenty of recovery time between long sessions to adapt to the increases in training time. The 10-minute jump and doubling the number of long sessions proved too much to bear.

*Please note that my training at this stage is based on time, not distance. It consists of 6 training days each week with a MAF test every 3 weeks. Each session has a minimum half hour component that does not vary. It is my 15-minute warm up and 15-minute cool down. This is not a token, but a critical component to the program. I must gradually raise and lower my heart rate. The variable element to the program is the time spent in my AHRZ (after warm up and before my cool down) and the frequency of my long sessions. This is the component that is altered in response to the results of the MAF test. It is a scientific method of building one's aerobic base whilst simultaneously minimising the chances of stress injuries. Very clever.

Weeks 10 - 12 was a period of physical struggle, which ultimately impacted me mentally and emotionally. My inability to recover between long sessions began to drain me, though this did not stop me from being faithful to my program. At the end of week 12, I did my MAF test - I had gone backwards by two and a half minutes.

What a blow.

I felt robbed.

Instead of being rewarded for pushing through the fatigue and being committed to my dream, I was penalised. The MAF test illustrated that I physically wasn't coping with the increase in training. Looking back it's plain to see that the increase was too much too soon. My body was trying to tell me something but I was too fixated with the program to listen. Perhaps I was afraid that I would slip back into being the lackadaisical person I once was.

The MAF test is a tool to track your progress and tweak your program accordingly. I used it as a weapon to beat myself up. As soon as I finished the test, I felt the bubble burst. I was angry, deflated, worried and disillusioned. I began to loose faith - in me, my program and my ability to restore myself physically, mentally and emotionally in time for November.

The day after my MAF test, Patrick had emergency back surgery. I had to put my woes aside to focus on him. The to-ing and fro-ing to the hospital, and the overnighter when Pat ran a high fever, had all but drained every ounce of energy I had left. I was exhausted.

Noticing my grey pallor, Patrick suggested we both recover by the seaside at my friend's beach house (merci ma belle amie xx). I found myself napping 2-3 hours a day (I'm not a 'napper' so that's INSANE for me) before heading out for my run - which sadly had returned to a shuffle. I dropped my training days from six days a week to three and on a good week, four. I was at my wits end.

Then slowly slowly, day by day, I began to feel better. Not great, but better.

I've kept up my training, though have cut back on the intensity and number of long sessions. I'm distinguishing the fine line between listening to my body and keeping up the running habit. I am continuing with my Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture as well as getting a number of diagnostic tests done to see if there are any vitamin or mineral deficiencies that may have contributed to my fatigue. In a nutshell, I'm leaving no stone left unturned.

I have learnt that recovery is as important as the actual training. I know I've said it, but this experience has really driven the message home. Oh, and the MAF test is not a tool to beat yourself up with, but a measure to see how you're responding to the training and make necessary program adjustments.

So now you know where I've been... tomorrow I'll tell you where I'm going ;-)

Until then, know that there are times when you thrive and times when you survive. Do whatever it takes to survive so that in time you can get back to thriving - it's the best state to be in.

Grace xx